Wednesday, April 16, 2008

You Can't Always Get What You Want

The story of my f*ing life. I don’t think I am a person who wants too much. Funnily as materialistic as I often sound (which I actually am) there isn’t that much that I truly want. All the things I lust over, that I crave, that I buy, its just to occupy time, cause the truth is that the happiness they provide never lasts for that long. Ok I lie, it lasts fucking long. Especially when said item looks really good on you. But what I am trying to say here is this; there is something else I want. Something that isn’t bought, something private, something secure, something that won’t go away, something that will cure this loneliness, something that will make me feel like I belong, something more than I have ever had. But guess what, it’s the one thing that I don’t seem to be able to get (well that and my f*ing Birkin). For once (actually for ages) I can’t get what I want. Its become a numb ache, that’s always there, sometimes there is a pang, but generally, its just there, in the background, never fading. Of course you want to know now what it is I want but guess what, you can’t always get what you want. Ha!

Ok what I want, what I really want, is to know what I want to do with my life, career wise. God, I’ve never been this confused before. You see I am one of those people who always know what they want. I immediately know if I like a person or not upon meeting them. I am a sales assistant dream, I don’t waste time I know exactly what I want, and am quick about it. I am very decisive. But this career confusion is f*ing killing me. What I need to do is grow some balls, quit my job, and do some sort of soul searching. Actually, what I need is to grow some balls, quit and go in the direction of fashion styling. But that don’t buy you Phantom’s (Rolls Royce) and pj’s (private jet) Oh well, here’s to ‘miracle grow’ (you know the stuff bald men put on their head to try and entice some hair to grow).

By the way, the title of this blog was inspired by the last line of a George Michael song called Waiting For That Day. But that line was actually from the Rolling Stones with that title. Waiting For That Day is one of my favourite George Michael songs, its about him missing someone, who he has tried to forget by sleeping with other people to distract himself, but it doesn’t seem to work. He’s asking the person to come back, but guess what, you can’t always get what you want (that’s how he ends the song).

And by the way, the original song went like this;

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need….

p.s. you thought I was going to talk about love didn’t you?

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