You Can't Always Get What You Want

The story of my f*ing life. I don’t think I am a person who wants too much. Funnily as materialistic as I often sound (which I actually am) there isn’t that much that I truly want. All the things I lust over, that I crave, that I buy, its just to occupy time, cause the truth is that the happiness they provide never lasts for that long. Ok I lie, it lasts fucking long. Especially when said item looks really good on you. But what I am trying to say here is this; there is something else I want. Something that isn’t bought, something private, something secure, something that won’t go away, something that will cure this loneliness, something that will make me feel like I belong, something more than I have ever had. But guess what, it’s the one thing that I don’t seem to be able to get (well that and my f*ing Birkin). For once (actually for ages) I can’t get what I want. Its become a numb ache, that’s always there, sometimes there is a pang, but generally, its just there, in the background, never fading. Of course you want to know now what it is I want but guess what, you can’t always get what you want. Ha!

Ok what I want, what I really want, is to know what I want to do with my life, career wise. God, I’ve never been this confused before. You see I am one of those people who always know what they want. I immediately know if I like a person or not upon meeting them. I am a sales assistant dream, I don’t waste time I know exactly what I want, and am quick about it. I am very decisive. But this career confusion is f*ing killing me. What I need to do is grow some balls, quit my job, and do some sort of soul searching. Actually, what I need is to grow some balls, quit and go in the direction of fashion styling. But that don’t buy you Phantom’s (Rolls Royce) and pj’s (private jet) Oh well, here’s to ‘miracle grow’ (you know the stuff bald men put on their head to try and entice some hair to grow).

By the way, the title of this blog was inspired by the last line of a George Michael song called Waiting For That Day. But that line was actually from the Rolling Stones with that title. Waiting For That Day is one of my favourite George Michael songs, its about him missing someone, who he has tried to forget by sleeping with other people to distract himself, but it doesn’t seem to work. He’s asking the person to come back, but guess what, you can’t always get what you want (that’s how he ends the song).

And by the way, the original song went like this;

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need….

p.s. you thought I was going to talk about love didn’t you?

Secrets

Time published its first annual list of the top blogs on the internet. I thought most of them were annoying, nothing can be beat Alistyle, right guys? Anyway, there was one very special one; PostSecrets. They described it as "The blog is an ongoing community art project in which ordinary people mail in a personal secret written by hand on one side of a homemade postcard. The cards are then posted anonymously on the blog exactly as received, presented without comment." I describe it as a beautifully touching space on the internet, click here to see for yourself.

There was something else I found there, a video summary of some the cards that had been sent in. I have to say, this was even more heartfelt, an perhaps a bit sad. I advice you use headphones when listening to this, so you dont miss out on posts such as "i really enjoy funerals" "i almost planned to kill my mother", and others;

Oh pls watch this, it is truly true.

Before & After

If only more men could see what difference a little bit of tailoring could for their wardrobe. GQ picked a couple of randoms on the streets of NY (further proof that Americans have no dress sense) and gave them a simple makeover. See below;

Shirt, $295, and pants, $295, by Burberry London. Sneakers, $425, by Martin Margiela. Watch by Dior Homme.

Blazer, $2,025, and jeans, $450, by Dolce & Gabbana. Shirt, $168, by Steven Alan. Shoes, $820, by Church’s.




Shirt, $415, and pants, $465, by Prada. Tie, $130, by Alexander Olch. Shoes, $375, by Ermenegildo Zegna.






Suit, $1,050, by Neil Barrett. Shirt, $460, by Jil Sander. Tie, $125, by Band of Outsiders. Shoes, $300, by Geox. Pocket square by Paul Stuart. Watch by Cartier.




Sweater, $780, and shirt, $260, by Salvatore Ferragamo. Jeans, $231, by Nom de Guerre. Shoes, $158, by Banana Republic. Belt by Coach. Watch by Rolex.

Well Dressed Men, With Personality

Came across the following extracts from men.style.com. I love the Mankin (large size Birkin) and I totally totally love the way the Dao-Yi Chow is dressed. He is simply too cool for skol. Loves It!;

GQ: The Well-Dressed Rebel

Beat Up the Pretty Things

Nathaniel Goldberg, Photographer

“There’s a person at the Serpette flea market in Paris who specializes in secondhand Hermès bags. I bought these about ten years ago; they’re probably from the late ’60s or early ’70s. I paid about $2,000 apiece, but I take both of them with me everywhere, always as carry-on luggage. One I pack with clothes, the other with shoes, toiletries, and a computer. You travel in style, but you pay for it with how heavy they get. It’s a painstaking experience, but I still do it. You have beautiful bags; you want them with you.”

• The fact is, quality will cost you. But if you invest in a classic piece by a label like Hermès—whose craftsmanship is undisputed—consider it money well spent.

Bags by Hermès. Vest and shirt by 45rpm. Jeans by A.P.C. Cap by Browning. Glasses by Number (N)ine. Watch by IWC.

Tame Your Tux

Dao-Yi Chow, Designer, Public School

“If you look at my outfit, it’s formal from the waist up and nontraditional from the waist down. It’s the perfect balance between luxe and edge. There’s still a fashion component to it, but the way you put it together, you’re not fashion. To pull it off, you have to pay attention: You have to keep the lines from the jacket to the jeans—and the jeans to the shoes—in proportion.”

• The reason Dao-Yi’s outfit works so well is he pays as much attention to the fit of his jeans as he does to his tailored tux jacket. They’re perfectly in sync with each other.

Tuxedo jacket and jeans by Alexander McQueen. Shirt by Dolce & Gabbana. Bow tie by Polo by Ralph Lauren. Sneakers by Balenciaga.

What To Expect This Winter

As usual this morning, when I got to work instead of actually doing work, I went through my usual celebrity blogs (Naiomi got arrested in Heathrow T5 for another temper tantrum, JLo's Husband bought her earrings worth $2.6m, Posh is still too contrived which is such a waste of all her lovely bags/shoes/clothes, etc.). Anyway I decided to go on to style.com and guess what I found, a selection from each designer of their Fall/Winter 08 accessories offerings. Basically, I do the research, so you all you have to do is bring out your credit card and swipe. I have to tell you ladies, it's looking very bleak there this Winter. Here's a couple of things I found mildly interesting;

Herve Van der Straten Silver Wave Earings

Salvorte Ferragamo - Metallic Platform

Tod's Lizard Diamond Lock Pochette

Giambattista Valli - Embellished Minaudiere

Christian Louboutin - Tan Slingback Gold Heel

Fendi F3 Bag - Could this be the new IT Bag? Which as we know are so over! I like the size though.

Bottega Venetta - White Gold & Diamond Bracelet

Christian Louboutin - Tan Platform Boots

Burberry Lowry Bag

And the truly disgusting; Chloe Wrapped something. Me thinks they need to get Phoebe back.

A word of advice; if you love yourself at all, don't even venture near a Gucci store.

The Weekend Of The Fabulous

Today's the best day of the week; FRIDAY. This is usually the only night if the week that I partake in my favourite pastime; DRINKING. I came up with a little rule last year, only drink once a week. For one, I find that I say the most stupid things when I am drunk, for the second, I am not one to do things in moderation; I drink to get DRUNK, so its best to keep the inevitable shame and embarrassment (when I realise I’ve said or done something I shouldn't have said/done) to a minimum.

I am listening to the new Madonna song with Justin Timberlake; 4 Minutes, and I have to admit, I quite like it. You want to see for yourself;



What are our weekend plans? I will be attending nuptials all today and tomorrow, an engagement party today, a wedding tomorrow (different couples). Nothing like a wedding to make you feel the need to look even more fabulous than usual (you thought I was going to say lonely/single? * that!). Weddings are the perfect opportunity to have social gatherings outside bar/club and see what people actually look like in the daytime. So many of my crushes have evaporated once I saw the object of my affection in daylight, I'm like eeewww.

I think its time for me to go on another one of my anorexic diets. I was trying on my outfit for the wedding tomorrow, and I felt a bit of snugness around the ass when trying on my favourite skinny black pencil trousers. Baby got back? Baby don’t want back. Baby follows the European model of skinny chic. You see, others have intelligence, others have beauty, some have humour, some are even kind hearted, all I have is my skinniness (and my amazing clothes which are also size skinny). I cannot afford to lose my only competitive advantage. Well I lie, I also have another special thing, a total absence of any moral code/standard what so ever. And in the words of Lil Kim; “I'll do it anywhere, anyhow, I'm down for anything”

Coming up soon, the fashion issue.

Reformed Slut

Once upon a time......

There was a good Christian Child who lived alone. The child was intelligent, so found school work easy and thus had a lot of free time. The child also had parents who were going through a divorce so were willing to throw a lot of cash at the child. The child took full advantage of the situation and acquired many luxury goods. However, that only took care of the day time itch. At night, the child discovered the wonders of London Town after dark. While the child did not take to drugs and booze, the child instead took to making the acquaintance of clandestine strangers. Simply put, child began a slut. Child stopped going to church because child felt too guilty. Child stopped being a good Christian child.

Fast forward a couple of years. Child has now grown into an Adult. Adult's black book runneth over, but Adult has turned over a new leaf. Adult is no longer interested in (very) passionate short affairs. You know the type that lasts for hmmmm.................... a night. Adult has even tried to resurrect slutty alter ego to no avail. Normally this would be a good thing for most people, but not in this case. Adult has never had to be in a relationship so doesn't have a clue about intimacy. Adult has grown used to own company, doesn't like anyone in personal space, doesn't know how to open up, has no clue on what it takes to compromise, and now can't even random shag anymore. Simply put, Adult is screwed (well, not getting screwed though).

Shit.

This is a fictional tale about a Reformed Slut.

Counting Blessing's

I was going to do another moan and bitch post, but it isn't anything you haven’t heard before, so instead, we are going to do happy thoughts, and think along the lyrics of a certain Diana Krall song;

When my bankroll is gettin' small,
I think of when I had none at all,
And I fall asleep, counting my blessings.
Shit, that's me now. Oh well.

So, I had a little bit of a getaway last week, which was fantastic, a bit of shopping, a bit of chilling, a bit of eating, and a whole lot of drinking (ok fine, I ate a lot, not a little). And tonight, I am doing din-dins and dancing. I was going to do the whole white jeans on brown slippers thing, but that might be too much for a weekday. So I am going with greyish beige tunic, plus skinny Diesels, on Prada footwear. I actually have 3 choices of footwear packed to change into, couldn't decide which one to go with last night.

Actually, there is something I want to discuss with you guys today; crushes. I suffer from the most terrible crushes, i.e. I have crushes on people who are totally unattainable for ages. This isn't a self esteem issue trust me, I KNOW I am HOT, got no worries there. It is more of a case of twisted masochistic torture whereby I go for the one person who can never return my affection. Anyway, the reason I am writing all of this now is that I am happy to announce that I think I am cured. Let me explain, there is a certain work colleague who is married and would normally have been my target 10 - 24 months crush, but guess what; nothing. Absolutely nothing. And there is a lot of reason why there should be, we lunch together everyday, go out at night together, wear the same brands (and if this isn’t a basis for love, tell me what the f* is?). In fact there is still so much more that would make said target ideal swoon material. But again, nothing. Jesus has answered my prayers. I think this calls for a little presnt enclosed in an Orange Box *wink wink*

What else, any plans for the weekend lovelies? I think i am going to be doing a lot of air kisses *mwuah mwuah darling*. Tonight; you know about. Tomorrow; barring and clubbing. Saturday; I am hosting a dinner for 50 (champagne already ordered, Vueve Demi Sec, they’ve run out of Vintage Krug), and a possible after party. And on Monday after I see my account balance; bidding my virginity to the highest bidder (ok fine, my almost virginity, YES, it has been that long)!

What Have I Done To Deserve This

Pls excuse the dramatic title, it's just the song that I am listening to at the moment, by Pet Shop Boys. It's funny I keep discovering popular 80s and 90s pop artist lately; Crowded House, Paul Young, Dire Straits, very interesting.

Ok, on to today activities. I am going house hunting today. Looking for serviced apartments for my possible new boss, he wants to employ me as social manager. What kind of a rubbish post is that, doesn't he know that I am more than a pretty face. I was actually thinking of Business Development Management or Strategy, this would allow time for my afternoon 'personal maintenance appointments.'

UPDATE: While chatting to ex-shag/sometime partner on msn, my friend comes online and tells me she got her Birkin 3 weeks ago. That fucking bitch! I am still waiting for my bloody travel size one (in either plum, black, or brown, ;), not that i have the money to afford it right now. But in time, i will have turned enough tricks to afford its hopefully. This is the day i finally realised that i am on the wrong career path.

Fashion Supremo's

This video is soo amazing! John Galliano is totally off his face.

[Courtesy; BryanBoy]

Rebirth

Ok, my last post was pathetic. What I need is to grow some fucking balls (like spike lee) and do something about my life. First thing I need to do is to construct a business plan for a little project of mine. I think keeping busy and using all this ‘idle time’ I have now to build something will lift me out of this mild mild depression (I was looking for another word, cause I find the word depression so dramatic, nothing else sufficed).

It’s also time to devote more energy to my favourite pass time, fashion and the desire for luxury goods. Beautiful Bottega, Delicious Dolce, Luscious Louis, Boastful Balenciaga, not to forget Covetable Chanel (you like what I did there? J) Time for me to resubsrcibe to Vogue.

[courtesy; net-a-porter.com]

Basically, it’s time to take to snap out of this slump.

Help Me

Somewhere along the line, I decided to de-clutter my life, and make it less complicated, specifically, in a social context. I stopped talking to a lot of my fellow socialites (most of which can’t be trusted anyway). However, on reflection, I think what I was doing was giving up on life. I now find myself with little or no entertainment, no one to talk to, I spend a lot of time alone, and I feel numb most of the times. Nothing to get excited about, nothing to look forward to, just a dullness that lingers. And you want to know what makes it worse? The same dullness appears in my work life. I have no career goals to speak off, no business ideas, I’m watching everyone pass me by, and I am here doing nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing!

Now I see that I might have played my cards very wrong, and maybe its time to start searching for a way out, except I am worried that I always give up half way, and change paths again. I worry that I can't commit to anything long term, that I will always be looking for new things, but never staying around long enough to build something tangible.

I am so confused. At times like this, I wish I was more religious, just so that I could have something to turn to, to give me some hope, to lean on, but all I have is myself. I am hopeful for something, I just don’t know what…